When my doctor suggested that excessive menstrual bleeding was the source of my iron deficiency, I scoffed. Two days of super max heaving bleeding, three days of moderate bleeding, a few days of spotting, right? That’s just how it’s always been with me so I never questioned it. It turns out that I was bleeding too much, for too long, and that bleeding like a mother fucker for the first two days of my period was overkill and depleting my iron. My doctor seemed surprised that I was unaware my bleeding was abnormal “Don’t you discuss periods with your friends?” he asked. Well of course we’ve bitched endlessly about cramps, sore boobs, bloating and cravings, but I can’t ever recall discussing the ins and outs of our monthly blood harvest – I guess that one is still a taboo?

I do recall one time mentioning to a friend that I was thinking of trying cloth pads (such as lunapads). When I explained to her what they were after her repeated requests for clarification, she screwed up her face in utter revulsion and declared THAT’S DISGUSTING! I found her response somewhat contradictory considering that she was quite prepared to wash the most vile smelling shit out of her baby’s cloth nappies, but the idea of washing menstrual blood out of cloth pads was to her completely repugnant. I know which one I’d prefer.

Having amused my doctor about the lack of discourse on menstrual blood among my circle of bleeders, he prescribed a three month course of progestin (synthetic progesterone) to help induce a more regular cycle. This was several months before I was diagnosed with PCOS (because I was not overweight it did not occur to him to consider the possibility of PCOS at this time). Within one cycle the progestins kicked in and I was shocked to discover what a normal level of bleeding looked like – I was a bleeding (and scoffing) mother fucker no more.

Every bleeding lady I know likes to joke about how our hormones are like a roller coaster, but this is in fact how the hormones associated with the reproductive cycle ride; they’re meant to ebb and flow. Although I should point out these fluctuations ought not to be any more dramatic than a kiddie roller coaster – so if you feel like you’re on the the big dipper, lady, you’re on the wrong ride.

Progesterone needs to reach a certain level in order to trigger menstruation. My progesterone levels were taking too long to hit their peak, which not only adversely effects bleeding but also produces a prolonged pre-menstrual phase. This discovery was significant for me because it explained why years earlier when I had PMDD, the duration of the PMDD symptoms were sometimes a full 14 days and then some.

With PMDD, depression and other symptoms only occur during the pre-menstrual phase, which should be no longer than 14 days. The fact I was sometimes experiencing symptoms longer than 14 days lead me to question whether I had PMDD and not some other kind of depressive illness. In fact it delayed my seeking professional help because I was unable to determine whether my mental health decline was restricted to the premenstrual period or was more permanent. In the end, after several months of monitoring my mood, I knew I wasn’t in a constant state of depression and figured near enough was good enough.

If I had known about this issue with progesterone back then, I would have sought help for PMDD earlier. It’s amazing to me that even years after recovery, the mysteries of my experience with PMDD are still being revealed.